100 Word Challenge – 2018 Week 11 – Shanu

Here is Shanu’s short story in response to the picture below:

bike.jpg

I was going on my morning runs in Huntly forest but something was wrong. There were bicycles stuck in tree’s, dead rat’s on the footpath and etc.

Suddenly I hear this crunch. I look around but there was nothing to be seen. I started to get scared. I start to panic. My forehead rapidly sweats. Then this person comes out of nowhere and covers my face. My heart started skipping beats. “ BOOM” a bullet goes through my heart and I collapse on the ground in front of the bike tree. I am dead now so that means I’m a ghost.

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One thought on “100 Word Challenge – 2018 Week 11 – Shanu

  1. Hello Shanu, this is a very creative response to the challenge. I like how you give little clues to the reader to get them interested, e.g. “something was wrong”, “suddenly I hear”. You have used some good language too that helps make the story more interesting; words like “panic” and “rapidly sweats” work really well. I was a bit unsure about you being a ghost and maybe writing in the “third person” (he/she, they etc) might have worked better. Maybe try that next time. Otherwise I really like your ideas.

    Like

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